Dialogue/Story
Slow Speed begins at: 1:33
Explanation begins at: 4:13
Normal Speed begins at: 21:15
Complete Transcript
Welcome to English as a Second Language Podcast number 1,272 – Returning and Exchanging Merchandise.
This is English as a Second Language Podcast episode 1,272. I’m your host, Dr. Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development in beautiful Los Angeles, California.
This episode is a dialogue between Spencer and a woman who works at the store about returning things to the store that were bought there. Let’s get started.
[start of dialogue]
Clerk: Hello, how can I help you?
Spencer: I’d like to return a few things I received over the holidays.
Clerk: Okay, do you have gift receipts?
Spencer: I do for this item. It’s unopened and unused.
Clerk: Let me see. I can give you a refund, but there will be a small restocking fee.
Spencer: Really?
Clerk: I’m afraid so.
Spencer: Okay, that’s fine. I also received this one as a gift, but don’t have a receipt.
Clerk: Let me look up that merchandise in our system. It looks like it was a clearance item and it was a final sale.
Spencer: But it’s unworn.
Clerk: I understand that. The best I can do is to allow you to exchange it if it doesn’t fit or give you store credit.
Spencer: I’ll take the store credit. What about this?
Clerk: Let me see. That item was purchased on our online store and it can’t be returned to a store location, only through our website.
Spencer: And this? It doesn’t work.
Clerk: I’m sorry, but that was also a clearance item and was sold in as-is condition.
Spencer: [sigh] All right.
Clerk: Can I help you with anything else?
Spencer: Only if you can visit the other three stores to return the rest of my gifts.
Clerk: You didn’t get you wanted for the holidays, huh?
Spencer: My family and friends have great senses of humor, but how many gag gifts can one man own?
[end of dialogue]
Our dialogue begins with a “clerk” (clerk) saying something to Spencer. A clerk is a person who works usually at a store who helps you buy things there, who takes your money. This clerk begins by saying to Spencer, “Hello, how can I help you?” “How can I help you?” is a normal way that someone such as a clerk would ask what you need when you come into a store.
Spencer says, “I’d like to return a few things I received over the holidays.” “To return something to a store” is to bring it back either to get money or to get something else, maybe the same item. If you bought a shirt and it was too small, you might return it to the store to get a bigger shirt, or you might simply return it to get your money back – that is, they would give you the money that you paid for it back.
Now, in the case of Spencer, he didn’t actually buy these things from the store. He received them over the holidays. “The holidays” refers, in the United States, to the Christian holiday of Christmas and the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah during which people often give gifts. The clerk says, “Okay, do you have gift receipts?” A “receipt” (receipt) is a piece of paper showing where something was bought and how much was paid for it. Stores usually give you a receipt when you buy things from them.
A “gift receipt” is when you buy a gift for another person, but include a piece of paper from the store, a receipt, in case the person wants to bring the gift back. Yes, in the United States, it is not uncommon for people to give a gift with a receipt in case the person doesn’t like the gift. It’s a little strange, but it has become common in the last several years. Spencer says, “I do for this item,” meaning he has a gift receipt for one of the “items” (items) or things that were bought from that store.
He says this item or thing is “unopened and unused.” “Unopened” means not opened. In this case, it refers to something that is in the original box or package that it was when it was first bought from the store. To say something is “unused” (unused) means it has never been used. You didn’t take it out and use it for an hour and then put it back in the box. Sometimes stores will only accept returns – that is, allow you to bring something back for money – if it is unopened and unused. If you bought a shirt, put it on, wore it to a party, took it off, and then brought it to the store to get your money back, well, that would not be an unused shirt. You “used” the shirt.
The clerk says, “Let me see,” meaning let me look at it. She says, “I can give you a refund, but there will be a small restocking fee.” A “refund” (refund) is money that you get back because you return something or because perhaps you aren’t happy with what you bought. Now, this is a “refund,” but it’s not going to the person who bought the item. It’s going to the person who received the item – in this case, Spencer.
The clerk says there will be a “small restocking (restocking) fee (fee).” A “restocking fee” is a small amount of money that a store or company will charge you or will take away from your refund for accepting the item back. You don’t get 100 percent, in other words, of the money you paid. The store is going to keep a small percentage. They call that a “restocking fee.” “To restock” means to take something and put it back on the shelves of a store or to put it back where it can be sold again.
This is quite common nowadays if you buy electronic goods, such as a computer. The store will take the computer back, but it won’t give you 100 percent of the money. It will keep some of the money as a restocking fee. Spencer is surprised by this. He says, “Really?” The clerk says, “I’m afraid so.” “I’m afraid so” is a polite, formal way of saying yes, especially when you are telling someone something that the person doesn’t like or is not happy with. Spencer says, “Okay, that’s fine,” meaning no problem.
He continues, “I also received this one as a gift, but I don’t have a receipt.” The clerk says, “Let me look up that merchandise in our system.” “To look up” is a two-word phrasal verb meaning to find something – in this case, to find something on a computer system. The word “merchandise” (merchandise) is a word that means things that you buy and sell. It’s a general term for anything that is sold. So, in the title of this episode we have “Returning and Exchanging ‘Merchandise.’” Merchandise is something you buy at a store.
The clerk looks up the merchandise – the item, the thing – that Spencer wants to return and says that “It looks like,” meaning it appears, this thing “was a clearance item and it was a final sale.” A “clearance (clearance) item” is something that a store sells usually at a very low price because it is getting rid of that particular kind of thing. It is no longer going to be selling that particular item. In order to get rid of them, it has a “clearance sale.”
The clerk says that this item was “bought as a final sale.” A “final sale” means you can’t bring it back. If you go into a store and you see a sign that says “All sales are final” (final), that means that when you buy something, you do not have the option of bringing it back. If you buy it, you can’t return it.
Spencer complains that it’s “unworn” (unworn). We’ve had several words in this dialogue with the prefix “un” (un). “Un” is usually used to mean “not.” So, “unused” is not used. “Unopened” is not opened. “Unworn” is not worn. “Worn” means that you have used a particular piece of clothing. We use the verb “to wear” (wear) to refer to putting clothes on your body. “I am wearing a shirt.” “I am wearing pants.” If an item is “unworn,” that means you’ve never put it on your body – a piece of clothing that has never been worn.
The clerk says, “I understand that,” meaning I understand that this piece of clothing has never been worn. She says, “The best I can do,” meaning the best possible deal I can give you, “is to allow you to exchange it if it doesn’t fit you or give you store credit.” “To exchange” (exchange) means to bring something into a store that you bought there and get something very similar to that item. I gave the example before of buying a shirt that is too small for you. You go to the store and you exchange that shirt for a bigger shirt that fits you – that is, that is the right size for you.
The clerk says that Spencer can exchange this piece of clothing, or she can give him “store credit” (credit). “Store credit” is usually a piece of paper or some other way that the store gives you money that you can spend in the store for something else. So you buy something for $10. You don’t like it. You bring it back to the store. The store doesn’t give you $10. It says, “Well you can buy something else in our store for $10.” That’s “store credit.”
Spencer says, “I’ll take the store credit.” Then he says, “What about this?” showing her something else. The clerk says, “Let me see. That item was purchased on our online store and it can’t be returned to a store location, only through our website.” An “online (online) store” is a website where you can buy something on the internet. Many stores have online stores as well as physical stores – stores you can drive your car to and walk into. Some stores don’t allow you to buy things online and then return it to one of their physical stores, and that’s what the clerk is telling Spencer.
Spencer then shows the clerk something else. He says, “And this? It doesn’t work” (work). “To work” here means to function properly. If something “doesn’t work,” it’s broken. It doesn’t do what it’s supposed to do. A television that you can’t watch because there’s no picture is a broken television. It doesn’t work. The clerk says, “I’m sorry, but that was also a clearance item and was sold in as-is condition.”
If something is sold in “as (as) – is (is) condition,” that means once you buy it, you can’t return it, even if it is broken. Usually something is sold in “as-is“ condition when it’s already broken or when there’s already a problem with it. You can’t buy it and then say, “Oh, it’s broken. I want to bring it back.” You bought it in “as-is condition.” You knew that it wasn’t perfect when you bought it, and you can’t return it.
Spencer is not very happy. He says, “All right.” The clerk then says, “Can I help you with anything else?” Spencer says, “Only if you can visit the three other stores to return the rest of my gifts.” Spencer is making a joke here. The clerk isn’t really asking him if she can do anything for him. So when she asks if she can help him with anything else, she doesn’t mean helping him go to other stores and return his other gifts.
She then says, “You didn’t get what you wanted for the holidays, huh?” Spencer says, “My family and friends have great senses of humor, but how many gag gifts can one man own?” A “sense (sense) of humor (humor)” is the ability to find things funny, to laugh. He says his friends and family “have great senses of humor,” meaning that they know how to laugh. They like to be funny. “But,” he says, “how many gag (gag) gifts can one man own?” A “gag gift” is a gift that is intended to be or is supposed to be funny. It’s not a nice thing. It’s supposed to make you laugh.
Spencer’s friends and family gave him a lot of gag gifts for the holidays instead of real gifts. The joke here is that, in the United States, there is a famous store called “Spencer’s” that sells mostly gag gifts – things like cups and mugs with funny sayings on them, and similar things that people think are supposed to be funny. Because his name is Spencer, they gave him all of these gag gifts because there’s a famous store that sells gag gifts named “Spencer’s.”
Now let’s listen to the dialogue, this time at a normal speed.
[start of dialogue]
Clerk: Hello, how can I help you?
Spencer: I’d like to return a few things I received over the holidays.
Clerk: Okay, do you have gift receipts?
Spencer: I do for this item. It’s unopened and unused.
Clerk: Let me see. I can give you a refund, but there will be a small restocking fee.
Spencer: Really?
Clerk: I’m afraid so.
Spencer: Okay, that’s fine. I also received this one as a gift, but don’t have a receipt.
Clerk: Let me look up that merchandise in our system. It looks like it was a clearance item and it was a final sale.
Spencer: But it’s unworn.
Clerk: I understand that. The best I can do is to allow you to exchange it if it doesn’t fit or give you store credit.
Spencer: I’ll take the store credit. What about this?
Clerk: Let me see. That item was purchased on our online store and it can’t be returned to a store location, only through our website.
Spencer: And this? It doesn’t work.
Clerk: I’m sorry, but that was also a clearance item and was sold in as-is condition.
Spencer: [sigh] All right.
Clerk: Can I help you with anything else?
Spencer: Only if you can visit the other three stores to return the rest of my gifts.
Clerk: You didn’t get you wanted for the holidays, huh?
Spencer: My family and friends have great senses of humor, but how many gag gifts can one man own?
[end of dialogue]
Our scriptwriter has a great sense of humor. We thank her for her wonderful scripts. I speak of course of the one, the only Dr. Lucy Tse.
From Los Angeles, California, I’m Jeff McQuillan. Thank you for listening. Come back and listen to us again right here on ESL Podcast.
English as a Second Language Podcast was written and produced by Dr. Lucy Tse, hosted by Dr. Jeff McQuillan. Copyright 2016 by the Center for Educational Development.
Glossary
to return – to take something back to the store where it was bought, usually so that one can exchange it for something else or receive money back for it
* We bought too many boxes of invitations, so we need to return a few of them.
gift receipt – a piece of paper showing when and where something was purchased but without showing the price, used when giving someone a gift so that the person can return it to the store if needed
* Whenever Meghan buys clothing for her baby nephew, she always tapes a gift receipt to the inside of the box so that his parents can return anything that doesn’t fit him.
unopened – not opened; in the sealed, original packaging
* Julia was puzzled why her letter to her old teacher was sent back unopened, but then learned that he has died.
unused – not used; never used; like new
* This handbag is in perfect condition. It appears to be unused.
refund – money that is repaid to someone, usually because a customer was not satisfied with a purchase
* I want to cancel my monthly subscription. May I have a refund for the days remaining on the account?
restocking fee – an amount of money paid to a company so that it will accept a return and prepare the item for sale again
* If we charged a 10% restocking fee, our customers may make fewer returns.
to look up – to find something in a computer system, database, or digital or electronic filing system
* We asked the library to help us look up books about World War II.
merchandise – items that are for sale; things that are bought and sold
* This store mostly sells women’s clothing, but it also offers related merchandise, such as jewelry and shoes.
clearance item – something that is being sold at a price much lower than usual, often because the store has decided not to carry it anymore and wants to get rid of it
* We bought a lot of holiday decorations in January, when they were being sold as clearance items for very low prices.
final sale – the lowest price at which something will be offered for sale
* Most stores refuse to accept returns on final sale items.
unworn – never put on as a piece of clothing; never used to decorate someone’s body
* This sweater is still unworn with the tags on it.
to exchange – to trade; to give something up and receive something else in its place; to give one thing and receive something else in return
* Can I exchange this pink sweater for a green one?
store credit – an amount of money that one is allowed to spend in a store, usually represented as a gift certificate (a printed piece of paper) or a gift card (a card with the store name on it with a dollar value)
* You bought this book more than 30 days ago, so I cannot give you a refund, but I can offer you a store credit.
online store – a website where things are sold, not a physical store
* Local store owners are frustrated that people are coming into their store to look at products and figure out what they want to buy, but then making their purchases at online stores.
to work – to function properly; for a machine or device to do what it is supposed to do
* The blender stopped working this morning. I think it needs a new motor.
as-is – in the current condition, especially if it is less than perfect or partially broken; sold as something is at the time of purchase, with no opportunity for a refund or exchange if the buyer is dissatisfied with it
* These light bulbs appear to be in good condition, but they’re sold in as-is condition. If they don’t work when we get home, we can’t get our money back.
sense of humor – the ability to understand that things are funny, laugh at other people’s jokes, and make jokes that are funny to other people
* Kaila has a great sense of humor. She’s always making comments and telling jokes that make her coworkers laugh.
gag gift – a gift that is intended to make the other person laugh, usually because it is very unusual, funny, or inappropriate
* This bacon-flavored dental floss would make a great gag gift.
Comprehension Questions
1. What should you do if you want to get an item in a different size or color?
a) Request a refund
b) Request an exchange
c) Request store credit
2. What is a gag gift?
a) A gift that is completely inappropriate and offensive
b) A gift that is disgusting and makes one want to vomit
c) A gift that is supposed to make the recipient laugh
Answers at bottom.
What Else Does It Mean?
to exchange
The verb “to exchange,” in this podcast, means to trade, or to give something up and receive something else in return: “If you don’t like this perfume, the receipt is in the box, so you can exchange it for one that you do like.” The verb “to exchange” also means to give something to someone at the same time that he or she gives something to you: “Do you exchange gifts with your aunts and uncles at Christmas?” The phrase “to exchange numbers” means for two people to provide their contact information to each other: “Let’s exchange numbers so we can continue this conversation later.” Finally, an “exchange student” is a student who lives and studies in another country for a period of time, usually living with a host family: “This fall, we’ll be hosting an exchange student from Morocco.”
as-is
In this podcast, the phrase “as-is” means in the current condition, especially if something is less than perfect or partially broken: “These computers are being sold as-is, so we should check them carefully before deciding to buy one.” The phrase “as yet” means so far, or up to this point in time: “We haven’t seen any increase in sales as yet, but we hope that will change as our advertising campaign continues.” The phrase “as ever” emphasizes that something is happening as it always does: “As ever, Janna is complaining about the office being too cold.” The phrase “as well” means also: “I’m so glad you joined us for dinner. Would you like to go to the movies as well?” Finally, the phrase “as a whole” means overall, altogether, or affecting every part: “Some departments are struggling, but the organization as a whole is doing well.”
Culture Note
Common Return-policy Terms
When “making a purchase” (buying something), buyers should know a store’s “return policy,” or the conditions under which it allows people to return purchased items to the store.
Some stores are known for their “exceptional” (very good; extraordinary) “customer service” (the ways a company interacts with its customers) and will “take back” (accept as returns) almost any item, even if it is used, with “no questions asked” (without requiring an explanation). However, most stores’ return policies require that any item be returned in good, unworn, and unused condition. For electronics, the rules are “stricter” (more demanding), with most stores requiring that any electronics be “unopened” (never opened, in the original sealed packaging).
Most stores also have a “time limit” (the maximum allowable period of time) for exchanges or refunds. For example, they might require that any returns or exchanges be made within 30 days of purchase. Some policies “stipulate” (state and require) that returns are allowed within the first 30 days, and exchanges are allowed within the first 60 days, but that no returns or exchanges are allowed “beyond” (after) 60 days.
Finally, stores’ return policies often require that customers bring the original “receipt” (the piece of paper that document what was purchased, when, and how it was paid for) if they want to make a return or exchange. This is to prevent people from buying an item at one store and then returning it at another store. Some stores “make an exception” (decide not to apply the rule) and allow people to return an item without a receipt if they can present the credit card that was used to make the original purchase, because they can use the card to “look up” (find) the “transaction” (information about the purchase) in their computer system.
Comprehension Answers
1 - b
2 - c