Dialogue/Story
Slow Speed begins at: 1:22
Explanation begins at: 3:44
Normal Speed begins at: 18:38
Complete Transcript
Welcome to English as a Second Language Podcast number 1,271 – Disapproving of a Remarriage.
This is English as a Second Language Podcast episode 1,271. I’m your host, Dr. Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development in beautiful Los Angeles, California.
This episode is a dialogue between Ellie and Laurent about disapproving or not liking someone marrying a second time – “remarrying,” we would say. Let’s get started.
[start of dialogue]
Ellie: I don’t believe it. I just got off the phone with my mother and she dropped a bombshell.
Laurent: What did she tell you?
Ellie: She’s thinking of remarrying.
Laurent: Are your parents divorced?
Ellie: No, my mother is a widow. My father passed away eight years ago.
Laurent: Oh, I’m sorry. You don’t approve of your prospective stepfather?
Ellie: Uh, don’t use that term. I don’t like or dislike him. It’s just that my mother should not be remarrying – period. She should stay true to my father’s memory.
Laurent: After eight years?
Ellie: Theirs was a picture-perfect marriage. How could she forget about it and take up with this other guy?
Laurent: Don’t you want your mother to move on and be happy?
Ellie: By replacing my father with this new guy?
Laurent: I’m sure she’s not trying to replace him. She just wants a new love in her life.
Ellie: My father was the love of her life. This other guy is a pale substitute.
Laurent: Can’t you just be happy for her?
Ellie: I’m never betraying my father’s memory.
Laurent: Does that mean you’ll never marry?
Ellie: Well, no, I can stay true to my father’s memory and still get married.
Laurent: So can your mother!
[end of dialogue]
This episode is about someone getting married again. It could be for the second time. It could be for the third, fourth, fifth, sixth, or seventh time, but I think we’re just talking about the second time here. Ellie begins by saying to Laurent, “I don’t believe it. I just got off the phone with my mother,” meaning I just was talking on the telephone to my mother, “and she dropped a bombshell.” The expression “to drop (drop) a bombshell (bombshell)” means to make a very surprising, shocking announcement – to tell someone some news that is usually bad news and very surprising news.
Ellie says her mother “dropped a bombshell,” meaning told her some very surprising news. Laurent says, “What did she tell you?” Ellie responds, “She’s thinking of remarrying.” “To remarry” (remarry) means to marry again, either after you have had a divorce – meaning you’ve ended a previous marriage with your husband or wife – or after your husband or wife has died.
Laurent says, “Are your parents divorced?” “To be divorced” (divorced) means to marry and then to end your marriage legally – to go to the government and say, “I am no longer married to this woman” or “I’m no longer married to this man.” Well, of course, you both have to declare that you’re not married, although in many states in the U.S., probably in most states, even if you don’t want to be divorced you can have your marriage ended by your husband or wife.
Ellie says her mother is not divorced. Her mother is a “widow” (widow). A “widow” is a woman whose husband has died. The term for a man would be a “widower” (widower). A “widower” is a man whose wife has died. There are many more widows in the world than widowers because women tend to live longer than men. Men are probably more likely to marry a woman younger than them than a woman is to marry a man. I’m not sure what the statistics are on that. That’s just my impression – what I think is true.
In any case, Ellie’s mother is a widow. She says her father “passed away eight years ago.” The expression “to pass (pass) away” means simply to die, but it’s a nicer way of saying “to die.” You may ask a friend of yours, “When did your father pass away?” That sounds better than saying, “When did your father die?” It depends on the situation, but “to pass away” is usually considered a more polite way of saying “die.”
Laurent says, “Oh, I’m sorry.” Once again, it might be the case that if you didn’t know that someone’s friend – or in this case, parent – has died and the person tells you, you might say, “Oh, I’m sorry,” or “I’m sorry to hear that.” “You don’t approve of your prospective stepfather?” Laurent says. “To approve” means to think something is good or acceptable. “I approve of him” means I think he’s a good person, or I think he’s acceptable for whatever the situation is. Laurent is asking Ellie if she approves of her “prospective (prospective) stepfather (stepfather).” “Prospective” means “potential,” something that might happen in the future.
The term “stepfather” is used to refer to a man who marries a woman who already has children. The man will legally make himself the father of those children. In that case, we would call that man their – or the children’s – “stepfather.”
Ellie says, “Uh, don’t use that term.” The “term” is a word – in this case, the word “stepfather.” She then says, “I don’t like or dislike him. It’s just that my mother should not be remarrying – period.” Ellie doesn’t hate the new boyfriend of her mother. However, she does not think her mother should “be remarrying – period” (period).
The word “period” here is used to mean “at all.” It’s a word that we use for emphasis. A “period,” of course, is a small little round dot that goes at the end of a printed sentence in a book or in a document. It indicates the end of something, but when someone says it in a sentence like this, he means to use that word as emphasis to say “at all” or “completely.” In England, in British English, they call a period a “full stop,” and they use that term “full stop” the same way we use the word “period” in English.
Ellie says that her mother “should stay true” to her father’s memory. “To stay true to” something means to remain loyal and faithful to something, to remember something in such a way that you don’t deny it or reject it. “Stay true to your wife” – that means don’t go out and try to find a new woman. You must stay loyal to her. You must be faithful to her. You must only be with her and love her. That would be “staying true to” a person, in this case.
Ellie thinks that her mother should stay true not to her father, since her father is dead now, but to her father’s “memory” (memory). “Memory” is how you remember someone – the idea about how someone was in your mind. Laurent says, “After eight years?” He thinks that Ellie is asking too much of her mother to not get married just because the mother loved her father. Ellie says, “Theirs,” meaning their marriage – her mother’s and father’s – “was a picture-perfect marriage.” “Picture-perfect” is a term that means “ideal,” one that was without any problems.
“How could she forget about it and take up with this other guy?” Ellie says. Ellie is saying here that she is surprised her mother would get married again, because to her that means that she has forgotten about her father. She uses the term “take up with” to describe her mother getting involved in this new romantic relationship. However, we often use that expression “to take up with” in a negative way, when we don’t approve of or agree with someone starting a romantic relationship with another person.
Laurent says, “Don’t you want your mother to move on and be happy?” The phrasal verb “to move on” means to end one thing and begin a new thing. It is especially used when we’re talking about romantic relationships. You end one relationship and then you forget about that one and find a new romantic relationship. That’s called “moving on.” We also use that phrasal verb to mean simply to continue on to something new, to stop talking about or worrying about what has happened in the past, or with one particular issue. We move on – we continue on to a new thing.
Ellie says, “By replacing my father with this new guy?” She thinks her mother is moving on by replacing the memory of her father. “To replace” (replace) means to start using one thing instead of another thing. Laurent says, “I’m sure she’s not trying to replace him.” Laurent is telling Ellie that he doesn’t think her mother is trying to replace her father. He says, “She just wants a new love in her life.” Ellie says, “My father was the love of her life.”
The “love of your life” is the person you think you are meant to be with, the one and only person with whom you should be or toward whom you could have a deep kind of love. Ellie says, “This other guy,” meaning her mother’s new boyfriend, “is a pale substitute.” A “substitute” (substitute) is a replacement for something, when you use one thing instead of something else. “Pale” (pale) here means something that is inferior or worse than the original. So, a “pale substitute” would be something or someone that is not nearly as good as the thing or person replaced.
Laurent says, “Can’t you just be happy for her?” Ellie says, “I’m not betraying my father’s memory.” “To betray” (betray) someone or something means not to be true to or loyal to that person. If someone tells you a secret and then you say, “Okay, I won’t tell anyone else,” and you, the next day, go and tell five other people, you have betrayed your friend. You have betrayed the person who gave you that secret or told you that secret. You were not loyal or faithful to that person. Someone who sells secret information to another government betrays his country – is not faithful to his country.
Ellie does not want to betray her father’s memory. Laurent says, “Does that mean you’ll never marry?” Ellie says, “Well, no, I can stay true to my father’s memory and still get married.” Laurent says, “So can your mother!” meaning mother can also get married and stay true to her father’s memory.
Now let’s listen to the dialogue, this time at a normal speed.
[start of dialogue]
Ellie: I don’t believe it. I just got off the phone with my mother and she dropped a bombshell.
Laurent: What did she tell you?
Ellie: She’s thinking of remarrying.
Laurent: Are your parents divorced?
Ellie: No, my mother is a widow. My father passed away eight years ago.
Laurent: Oh, I’m sorry. You don’t approve of your prospective stepfather?
Ellie: Uh, don’t use that term. I don’t like or dislike him. It’s just that my mother should not be remarrying – period. She should stay true to my father’s memory.
Laurent: After eight years?
Ellie: Theirs was a picture-perfect marriage. How could she forget about it and take up with this other guy?
Laurent: Don’t you want your mother to move on and be happy?
Ellie: By replacing my father with this new guy?
Laurent: I’m sure she’s not trying to replace him. She just wants a new love in her life.
Ellie: My father was the love of her life. This other guy is a pale substitute.
Laurent: Can’t you just be happy for her?
Ellie: I’m never betraying my father’s memory.
Laurent: Does that mean you’ll never marry?
Ellie: Well, no, I can stay true to my father’s memory and still get married.
Laurent: So can your mother!
[end of dialogue]
We hope you approve of the wonderful scripts we have on our podcasts. They’re written by our wonderful scriptwriter, Dr. Lucy Tse. Thank you, Lucy.
From Los Angeles, California, I’m Jeff McQuillan. Thank you for listening. Come back and listen to us again right here on ESL Podcast.
English as a Second Language Podcast was written and produced by Dr. Lucy Tse, hosted by Dr. Jeff McQuillan. Copyright 2016 by the Center for Educational Development.
Glossary
to drop a bombshell – to make a surprising announcement; to share some very surprising, shocking, and usually unpleasant news
* The manager dropped a bombshell when he announced that we were going to close two store locations.
to remarry – to get married again after one has divorced or after one’s spouse (husband or wife) has died
* Why would you want to remarry if you had such an unpleasant experience in your first marriage?
divorced – having officially ended a marriage; no longer married
* Our neighbors got divorced because they were always fighting over money.
widow – a woman whose husband has died
* She became a widow just a few weeks after her marriage when her husband died in a car accident.
to pass away – to die; to no longer be living
* How old was your grandmother when she passed away?
to approve of – to think that something is good and acceptable, and to allow it to happen or progress
* What will you do if the executives don’t approve of your plant for the project?
prospective – potential; something that may happen in the future
* Our sales team is trying to find new ways to convert our prospective customers into paying customers.
stepfather – the man who is married to one’s mother after one’s parents have divorced or after one’s father has died
* Their stepfather treats them more kindly than their biological father ever did.
period – a word used for emphasis stressing that the statement immediately before it is correct or final
* Don’t ask me again. I’m not allowing you to go to that rock concert – period.
to stay true to – to remain loyal and faithful; to not deny or reject
* Sometimes it’s hard to stay true to your values and beliefs if your friends and neighbors do not share them.
memory – remembrance; how someone is remembered; ideas in one’s mind about how someone or something was, including how one honors and respects that person or thing even after it is gone
* The city placed a statue in the main square in memory of the first mayor.
picture-perfect – perfect; ideal; meeting all of one’s expectations and qualifications for something; without any problems or imperfections
* We had picture-perfect weather last weekend, so we spent all our time outside.
to take up with (someone) – to start a romantic or sexual relationship with someone, used to show disapproval
* Why would she take up with someone who so clearly doesn’t love her or treat her with respect?
to move on – to end one relationship and begin another one, to recover from a previous heartbreak and begin one’s normal life and/or a new romantic relationship
* If he really loved you, he wouldn’t be able to move on and start dating other women so quickly.
to replace – to substitute; to start using or having one thing in place of another
* If we replace this chain, your bicycle will be as good as new.
the love of (one’s) life – soulmate; the person that someone is meant to be with; the person toward whom one has the strongest and purest feelings of love
* Do you believe that we can find the love of our life if we search long enough, or are there many people whom we could fall in love with?
pale substitute – something that is clearly inferior to (not as good as) other, similar things
* This economy car is a pale substitute for your car that is being repaired, but it’ll get you to and from work every day.
to betray – to not be faithful or loyal; to violate someone’s trust or to break a promise
* How could you betray you best friend by going out with his sister behind his back?
Comprehension Questions
1. What happened during Ellie’s phone call with her mother?
a) Her mother said unkind things and made her cry.
b) Her mother yelled at her.
c) Her mother shared some surprising news.
2. What does Ellie mean when she says, “This other guy is a pale substitute”?
a) She doesn’t think he has a high-paying job.
b) She doesn’t think he is smart enough.
c) She doesn’t think he is as good as her father was.
Answers at bottom.
What Else Does It Mean?
to stay true to
The phrase “to stay true to,” in this podcast, means to remain loyal and faithful; to not deny or reject: “We must stay true to the vision of this company’s founders.” The phrase “to stay in touch” means to continue to communicate: “I’m sorry you’re moving across the country, but let’s stay in touch.” The phrase “to stay the course” means to continue doing something and finish it even though it is very difficult or challenging: “We’re all exhausted, but we have to stay the course and finish this project by Wednesday.” Finally, the phrase “to stay tuned” means to continue watching a TV show or listening to the radio: “Stay tuned, and we’ll be back with more news after this commercial break.”
to take up with
In this podcast, the phrase “to take up with” means to start a romantic or sexual relationship with someone, used to show disapproval: “I can’t believe you took up with your ex-girlfriend’s sister!” The phrase “to take (someone) up on (something)” means to accept someone’s offer: “Yes, of course I’ll take you up on your invitation! It sounds like fun.” The phrase “to take it upon (oneself) to do something” means to do something without being asked or without permission or approval: “We’re looking for employees who will take it upon themselves to do whatever needs to be done to improve our company’s performance.” Finally, the phrase “to take after (someone)” means to resemble or physically look like an older relative: “Wow, it’s amazing how much Isobel takes after her mother!”
Culture Note
Legal Requirements for Remarrying
Anyone who wants to “wed” (get married) must get a “marriage license” (official, legal permission to marry another person). However, “divorcees” (people whose marriages have officially ended), “widows” (women whose husbands have died), and “widowers” (men whose wives have died) have to deal with some additional requirements.
People who have been married “previously” (in the past) must provide “documentation” (paperwork) to “prove” (demonstrate; make clear) that their earlier marriage has ended. A divorcee must present a “divorce decree” or a “certificate of dissolution of marriage” as these are the official documents that legally end a marriage. A widow or a widower needs to provide his or her original marriage license and the “death certificate” (an official document stating that someone has died) in order to prove that the “spouse” (husband or wife) is no longer alive.
The city or state will review that documentation to make sure that the “ex-spouse” (the man or whom from whom one is divorced) or the “former spouse” (the man or woman who passed away) is no longer alive. Then the city or state will “authorize” (approve; provide permission for) the new marriage license. All of this is done in order to make sure that no one is married to two or more people at the same time.
Sometimes religious organizations have additional requirements for people who want to remarry in a “religious” (associated with a church) ceremony. For example, the Catholic church has “strict” (with a lot of requirements that are not flexible) rules about who may and who may not marry.
Comprehension Answers
1 - c
2 - c