Daily English 100 Making Unkind Comments

Dialogue/Story

Slow Speed begins at: 0:56
Explanation begins at: 3:45
Normal Speed begins at: 18:12

Complete Transcript

Welcome to English as a Second Language Podcast number 100.

This is English as a Second Language Podcast number 100. I’m your host, Dr. Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from Center for Educational Development in beautiful Los Angeles, California.

Today we are going to talk about saying unkind or not nice things about another person and how we react to that. Let’s get started!

[start of story]

Yesterday, I was talking to an ex-colleague of mine who, frankly, has something of a big mouth. I bumped into him at the beach, where he was walking his dog. Anyway, as I was saying, he's the kind of guy that's always bad mouthing his co-workers. So he came up to me and said, "Hey, Jeff. Long time, no see. What've you been up to?" "Ah, not much, " I said. "Well, guess who I saw yesterday? John Robeson, the guy from accounting at Firth Industries. You remember him, the guy with big ears and and an ego to match." “It takes one to know one,” I thought, but I kept it to myself. "Oh, really? How interesting," I replied.

"Yeah, well, I hate to talk behind someone's back, but ever since he and I had that falling out last year, I've never really cared for the guy." "How come?" I asked. "Well, he's a bit of a backstabber, always trying to outdo the other guy." "I know what you mean," I said. I knew at this point it was time to make my exit, otherwise, this guy would go on about John Robeson for the next 10 minutes.

"What time do you have?" I asked him. "It's quarter after five." "Geez, already? Man, I've got to hit the road. I'm supposed to meet my brother at the pier in a few minutes. But, hey, it was sure good to see you again. You take care!" With that, I made my exit. I've got better things to do than to listen to him gripe all day.

[end of story]

I begin my story by saying that “Yesterday, I was talking to an ex-colleague of mine.” A “colleague” (colleague) is someone, in this case, that you work with. An “ex-colleague” would be someone that you used to work with but no longer work with. “I was talking to an ex-colleague,” I say, “who frankly, has something of a big mouth.” “Frankly” here just means honestly. “He has something of a big mouth,” I say. A “big mouth” is used to describe someone who likes to tell secrets or other things that are not very nice about another person when he’s not supposed to do that. Someone with a big mouth is always talking, always giving out information that often, they shouldn’t. I said that I bumped into him at the beach. “To bump into someone” is a phrasal verb meaning I accidentally saw him and in this case, talked to him. “To bump into someone” is not to expect to meet someone at a certain place, but to see them there and usually, to talk to them. In this case, my ex-colleague was walking his dog. He was taking his dog for a walk along the beach. I say that, “Anyway, as I was saying.” The expression “as I was saying,” is used in a conversation when you’re telling a story and then you, perhaps, start talking about a different topic and now you want to return to your original topic, in this case, the story. I say that my ex-colleague is the kind of – the sort of, the type of – guy or person – that’s always badmouthing his co-workers. “To badmouth” means to say bad things about another person, usually when that person isn’t there with you. “To badmouth” means to say insulting or negative things about another person. I say that my ex-colleague was always badmouthing his co-workers. “Co-workers” is the same as colleagues – people you work with.
So, he came up to me – he walked up to me – and said, “Hey Jeff! Long time, no see.” This is an old expression – “long time, no see” – that we use when we see a friend or someone we know that we haven’t seen in a long time. We’re saying, “It’s a long time since I’ve seen you.” “What have you been up to?” He asked me. “To be up to something” means to be doing something. So, he’s asking me what I have been doing. I answer by saying, “Uh, not much” – not very much. I haven’t been doing anything interesting. “Well, guess who I saw yesterday,” he asks me. “John Robeson, the guy from accounting at Firth Industries.” He is telling me that he saw this man who used to work in the accounting department of a business called “Firth Industries.” The idea here would be, I think, that the ex-colleague and I both know this man, John Robeson. In fact, the next sentence is my friend, my ex-colleague, saying, “You remember him, the guy with big ears and an ego to match.” “The guy” here just means the person. Usually “guy” is used in the singular to mean a man. If you say “guys,” with an (s) at the end – plural – it could mean men and women or boys and girls. “Guy” is usually an adult male.
He describes this John Robeson as a guy with big ears – large ears – and an ego to match. “Ego” (ego) relates to how important a person thinks he is. When we say someone has a “big ego,” we mean he thinks he’s very important. He has this idea of himself as being a very important person. My ex-colleague says that the guy has big ears and an ego to match. So, he’s saying his ears are big and his ego is big. “To match” just means it’s the same, in this case, what is the same is “big” – big ears, big ego.
“It takes one to know one,” I thought. This is an old expression – “it takes one to know one” means you can’t really understand something unless you also have that characteristic, unless you are also like that. It’s usually said when someone criticizes another person. If you, for example, say, “Oh, he’s such a big mouth. He’s always talking.” You might say “it takes one to know one.” That means you’re a talker also. You have that same defect. You have that same negative quality. You would not know that he was a big mouth unless you were a big mouth. That’s the idea. But I didn’t say that to my ex-colleague. I say that “I kept it to myself.” “To keep something to yourself” means not to tell anyone else, not to say it out loud. “Oh, really?” I say, “How interesting.” I’m not really interested but I am trying to be polite. My ex-colleague continues, “Yeah, well, I hate to talk behind someone’s back.” “To talk behind someone’s back” means to say something negative about a person when that person isn’t there, when they’re not there in the room with you. You’re criticizing them when they’re not actually there themselves.
My ex-colleague says, “Ever since he and I” – John Robeson and I – “had that falling out last year, I’ve never really cared for the guy.” “To have a falling out” means to have an argument, a disagreement, often resulting in two people no longer being friends or no longer speaking to each other. So, John Robeson and my ex-colleague had a disagreement, a “falling out” and after that time, my ex-colleague never really cared for the guy. “To care for,” here means to like. He never liked the guy. “How come?” I asked. “How come” is an informal way of saying, “Why?” “Well, he’s a bit of a backstabber.” A “backstabber” is someone who does something bad to you, not directly to you but by talking to other people or by doing things that you aren’t aware of, that you don’t know about until later when you find out this person did these negative things to you. “To stab” (stab) literally means to take a knife and to put it into something. To be a “backstabber” would mean to put a knife into someone’s back, which, of course, would be very painful. But John Robeson isn’t a murderer. He’s not a killer. When we say someone’s a “backstabber” we mean they do things that often hurt other people but not directly to them, rather, they use other means to hurt someone. My ex-colleague says that John Robeson was always trying to outdo the other guy. “To outdo” means to do something better than another person, to complete with another person. The other guy here just means, another worker, another employee.
“I know what you mean,” I said. I understand what you’re saying. Then I say in the story, “I knew at this point” – at this time – “it was time to make my exit.” “It was time to” means now was the time to, now was the appropriate moment to do something. In this case, I’m trying to “make my exit” (exit). “To make your exit” is to leave a place. “Otherwise,” I say, “this guy would go on about John Robeson for the next 10 minutes.” “Otherwise” means if I don’t do that or if what I just said doesn’t happen. “To go on” would mean to talk about. This guy would go on about John Robeson for the next 10 minutes. I then ask my ex-colleague, “What time do you have?” This is a somewhat formal way of asking someone what the time is. It means the same thing. “What time is it?” It’s a little more polite – “What time do you have?” “It’s a quarter after 5,” my ex-colleague says. “It’s a quarter after five” means it’s 5:15. “Geez, already?” “Geez” is an informal expression of surprise. “Man, I’ve got to hit the road,” I say. “Man” is also an informal expression we use to express shock or wonder or surprise about something. I say that “I’ve got to hit the road.” “To hit the road” is an expression meaning to leave, to go from where you are now, to exit. “I’m supposed to meet my brother at the pier in five minutes,” I say. The “pier” (pier) is a structure that goes out into, usually, the ocean that you can walk on so you can walk above the water on this typically, wooden structure that is built. You will find piers here in Southern California. There’s one not too far from me in Santa Monica.

I say that “I have to meet my brother at the pier in a few minutes, but hey.” “Hey” is another informal expression, here meaning the same as “well.” “It was sure good to see you again.” It was good to see you again. “You take care.” This is something you would say to someone – a friend, a colleague – when you are leaving and you don’t think, perhaps, you’ll see that person for a long time. “Well, you take care.” That just is a polite way of saying, “Take care of yourself.” “I hope everything is good for you.” “With that, I made my exit,” meaning, having said that, I left. I finish the story by saying, “I’ve got better things to do than to listen to him gripe all day.” “I’ve got better things to do” means I don’t want to waste my time on this activity that isn’t very useful to me or that I don’t like. “To gripe” (gripe) means to complain. Someone who’s always griping is always complaining, always saying negative things about the situation or about other people. Now let’s listen to the story, this time at a normal speed.

[start of story]

Yesterday, I was talking to an ex- colleague of mine who, frankly, has something of a big mouth. I bumped into him at the beach, where he was walking his dog. Anyway, as I was saying, he's the kind of guy that's always bad mouthing his co-workers. So he came up to me and said, "Hey, Jeff. Long time, no see. What've you been up to?" "Ah, not much, " I said. "Well, guess who I saw yesterday? John Robeson, the guy from accounting at Firth Industries. You remember him, the guy with big ears and and an ego to match." “It takes one to know one,” I thought, but I kept it to myself. "Oh, really? How interesting," I replied.

[end of story]

That’s going to do it for today’s English as a Second Language Podcast. From Los Angeles, California, I’m Jeff McQuillan. We’ll see you next time on ESL Podcast.

Glossary

ex-colleague – someone with whom one worked in the past but does not work with now; an employee of a company or business whom one used to work with

* Elizabeth and Franklin worked at the same company last year, but when Franklin got a job at a different company, the two became ex-colleagues.

quite frankly – honestly; a phrase used before giving an opinion that is not polite or not expected

* Kimberly wanted to cook dinner, but quite frankly, she does not cook well and no one wanted her to make dinner.

big mouth – a person who has a habit of saying too much; a person who has a habit of saying things that he or she should not say

* Alberto has a big mouth and usually says something that upsets everyone.

to bump into – to meet with someone unexpectedly

* Cassandra was happy when she went to the store and bumped into a friend she had not talked to in months.

to bad mouth – to say mean, rude, or bad things about someone else; to say negative things about someone who is not there

* Jack was angry when he learned that his friend was bad mouthing him and telling people things that were not true.

Long time, no see. – It has been a long time since the last time I saw you.; a phrase one uses to greet someone whom one has not seen in a long time

* When Therese saw her old friend, she greeted him by saying, “Long time, no see. The last time I saw you was more than three months ago.”

an ego – too much pride in oneself; having an opinion of oneself that is too high

* Roland was very prideful, and many people said that he had a large house and an even bigger ego.

to match – for two things to work well together; for two things to be the same level or degree

* Tian really wants to become a professional singer and he has the talent to match those big plans.

It takes one to know one. – You are the same.; a phrase one uses to say that someone has the same qualities that he or she is saying someone else has, usually used to talk about something negative

* When Nakisha called her brother a liar, he told her, “It takes one to know one. You lied to our parents about why you were late yesterday.”

to talk behind (someone's) back – to say something bad about someone when that person is unable to argue or defend himself or herself; to say something bad about someone without that person knowing

* As soon as Cedric left, Mariah started talking behind his back about all the bad things she claimed he said to her.

falling out – a fight or a difference in opinion that causes two people who were friendly in the past to stop being friendly with each other

* Mason had a falling out with his best friend over a woman, and now the two no longer speak to each other.

to care for – to like; to have a good opinion of

* Something about the new co-worker’s personality bothered Janet, so she didn’t care for him much.

backstabber – someone who betrays another person; someone who does something bad to another person who trusted him or her in the past

* Rosaline called her friend a backstabber after her friend kissed Rosaline’s boyfriend.

to outdo – to do more or better things than someone else; to do something better than someone else so that one feels more important than the other person

* Frances always tried to outdo his sister to impress their friends and family.

to make (one's) exit – to leave; to walk away from a person or situation that is unpleasant

* Xiao thought the conversation was very boring, so she made her exit as soon as she found an excuse to leave.

to hit the road – to leave; to get going

* It was late at night, so Shawn decided to hit the road and make the long trip back home.

take care – stay well; a phrase one uses as one leaves someone else

* As Phyllis left, she told her friend, “Take care.”

to gripe – to complain; to talk about things that one finds annoying or upsetting

* The teacher’s students griped about having too much homework, even though the homework was meant to help them understand the lesson.

Culture Note

The World’s Meanest Mom

In the news in early 2008 was a story of a mother who sold her son’s car after he didn’t follow her rules. This is what happened:

A mother bought her 18-year-old son a car and told him that she had two simple rules: 1) no “booze” (informal word for alcohol) in the car and 2) keep the car locked. One day, the mother decides to check to see if her son had followed her rules. She finds that the car is unlocked and there is a bottle of alcohol under the front seat. He was “busted” (discovered doing something bad)!

What did she do? She placed the following “classified ad” (advertisement) in the Des Moines Register, a major newspaper in the State of Iowa where they live:

OLDS 1999 Intrigue (the make and model of the car). Totally “uncool” parents who “obviously” don’t love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for three weeks before “snoopy” mom who needs “to get a life” found booze under front seat. $3,700/offer. Call “meanest” mom on the planet.

“uncool” = not nice; not sympathetic

“obviously” = clearly

“snoopy” = looking around secretly to find information

“to get a life” = to not worry about unimportant things

“mean/meanest” = unkind/the most unkind

Many people thought this ad was very funny because the mother used some of the common words and phrases angry teenagers might use. Someone who doesn’t share a teenager’s views is “uncool” and someone who “pries” (tries to find out other people’s private information) is a “snoop” or is “snoopy.” A teenager might tell you “to get a life” and to stop bother them. If parents force a teenager to do something they don’t like, they might call those parents “mean.”

The ad got a lot of attention in the media. Many people said that this mother was not only “clever” (smart and funny) to use her son’s words and point of view in the ad, but that she was right “to enforce” (to force someone to follow) her rules.